It is the soul that matters

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Punjabi wedding

Many of my friends keep telling me “Whenever you get married, please invite us.” Not just because, they want to attend MY wedding, but they want to see a Punjabi wedding. Punjabi marriages are very different from all other marriages with lots of customs and ceremonies. There is lots of sajana savarna, nach gana, masti mazzak, ched chad, and so much more.

Recently I got a chance to attend a cousin brother’s wedding. I reached there 2 days before the wedding.

The first night was sangeet and mehendi night. Ladies were singing, dancing, and applying mehendi on their hands. Both their hands were all filled and designed with the beautiful black color. We had a great time.

The next day, that is one day before the marriage, I woke up early. Not because I had to do some work, but because everyone else was awake. Got ready, had breakfast…..and then was time for the people from girl’s side to come over to the boy’s place for shagun. So all the elders were downstairs doing the ceremonies. The boy was supposed to go last. And we were there upstairs, teasing the would be bride-groom. He was so nervous, excited, he had so many mixed feelings.

We were five of us with the dulha. We didn’t let him be alone or in peace even for a single moment. In Punjabi weddings, there is a person called sawala. A sawala is a person who is always there with the bride groom. He does not leave him alone till the wedding. In this wedding, the sawala was a sardar. And he was the funniest part of the wedding. He had come from the land of Indian beauties, the sonni sonni kudiyan. He had come from Punjab and did not approve of any beauty in Gujarat.

So, we were there, harassing the poor dulhe raja. He didn’t have an option but to bear the harassments coz he could not go anywhere else. But, in a way he was enjoying all the teases and harassments. He was blushing, and was eagerly waiting for the his wedding.

Finally, he was called downstairs. There was some puja after that. Then was the chance of the saalis (bride’s sisters) to harass our bechara dulhe raja. But I am sure he was enjoying that as he forgot all his other relatives. After everything was over, lunch was served. The menu of the lunch included all Punjabi items. It included dal makhani, mix vegetables, dahi bhalle, puri, rice, gulab jamun, salad, and Punjabi achar. Yummy….

Then we took rest for some time. In the evening, we were supposed to go the bride’s place for shagun. (Oops! Not sure if this custom is called shagun or something else.) So, we were all there witnessing the sajna savarna of the girl. Its like…the bride groom’s mother, sisters, bhabhis all go the girl’s place and along with them they take all gold jewelry, a very heavy red or dark pink dupatta, and the make up kit. The girl sits there in a plain saree or salwaar kameez. And all start to decorate her. here, The poor girl was getting so nervous when all started pouncing on her. Someone putting the necklace around her neck, other one putting bangles, some other person putting payal, someone applying lipstick on her lips, somebody else would be applying nail polish on her nails….and that poor girl just sat there. She couldn’t even say anything. We (me and my jodidaars) just couldn’t help laughing. It actually was very hilarious.

After decorating her, her sisters and bhabhis took her back to her room. We followed her there. She looked so relieved. But we, the devilish ones, didn’t let her relax. We started teasing her. “Hmm….so you are desperately waiting for tomorrow, just like our bhaiya. You must be missing him, right.” “hehehehahahahohohohahahehehehahohohohooohoohahahahoha”. She didn’t mind it. She was actually missing him. As expected.

Then we went back home. Now was the real fun part of the day. There is a very funny tradition, wherein the groom’s father throws the groom out of the house and the groom goes away somewhere. Vo roothke chala gaya. And he said ( as a part of the tradition) that he doesn’t want to marry. Then the whole baraat goes and searches him. The funny part is that the baraatis go with all the band baja to search him. We were all dancing when we were going there. Hehe…(Actually, these days this custom is done just for the heck of it. It is pre decided where the boy will go and hide.) So, we reached there. It was some house in the neighborhood. Then we searched for him in the whole house. The sawala was there with him. I saw a small girl coming out of a room. I suspected that he would be there. Went in. The room was dimly lit. I could see someone standing next to the cupboard. But he didn’t look like the groom. I couldn’t even find the switch board. On a closer look, I could determine that that someone was the sawala, the sardar’s pagdi helped me recognize him. Hehe. Then I correctly assumed that the groom also has to be here. He had actually gone behind the cupboard. But yes, I found him. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! We brought him out. The whole crowd was then surrounding him. All trying to convince him to come back home. But he would not listen. He was just doing natak. Hehe. The sawala was like…. “No, he won’t agree.” Giving all sort of reasons for him to disagree. Then finally, somehow he was convinced (had to be, hehe). Then we returned home along with him and had dinner. Then was mehendi time. All bhabhis and sisters put mehndi on the guy’s palms and imprinted it on the wall behind him. After that, his feet were also colored, including the nails. That was so uproarious. The sawala fed him food later. He could wash his hands and feet only after an hour. So it was all orange orange. Hehe.

The following day was actually the most awaited day, the wedding day. There was nothing, I mean no ceremonies that morning. Only the real sister and real bhabhi, if any, went to the girl’s place for “chunni chadai”. The girl was supposed to wear that dupatta over her wedding dress, whatever that be. Be it a salwaar kameez, a sharara, a lehnga or a saree.

We were doing all time pass that morning. Slept properly. Then came the evening. The baraat was supposed to leave at 6pm, IST. That meant it should have left latest by 8pm, which it did. The baraat left at 7.30pm. hehe. I was dressed in a beautiful blue sharara, tied a bun of my hair. I had worn a very beautiful diamond set. Others were also looking OK, obviously.

Then went the baraat. All dancing, one uncle taking good care that the guys dance in the front and girls behind them and they don’t get mixed up. He knew a fact which, he thought, we didn’t. (The guys were all drunk, shhh….) ok, but we were separately dancing and enjoying. We danced till the end of the lane. Then we all went and sat in the bus, that was arranged to go to the venue. The guys were dancing in the bus also. They didn’t get a place to sit. Hehe. It was a mini bus and all could not fit in. So the guys had to stand. But it was a very short distance. Hardly 10 minutes. The bus halted some 100 meters away from the venue. The baraat was supposed to dance and cover the remaining distance. We all started dancing again. They were all Punjabi songs. Girls wanted some Hindi or English numbers, but the guys wanted Punjabi songs. So, it was 70% Punjabi songs and 30% Hindi or English ones. But it was all fun.

And finally when we were about 10 meters away from the entrance gate. Uncle could help no more. Girls and guys started dancing together. Hehe. They started flirting. Ched chad. (within limits, of course) There is another ritual that when the ladke wale reach the ladki wale’s place (now, venue). This ritual is called “Milni”. Here the girls and guys respective relatives hug each other and exchange gifts or garlands. Like the bride’s and groom’s mothers, their fathers, their brothers, sisters…. hugged each other and exchanged gifts.

Then, finally at 11pm, we entered the venue. Half the wedding attendees had eaten their dinner and were about to leave. They left after immediately blessing the bride and the groom. So, it happens such in Punjabi weddings that the reception is held before marriage. Only the very close relatives are there to witness the actual wedding, the pheras.

We ate dinner. The ched chad of the girls and the guys continued. Photographs were clicked of everyone as they went on the stage and blessed the couple. So it was funny to see them continuously smiling. Ye mama, ye chacha, ye bhua, ye bhua ka beta, ye cousin, ye family friend, ye ye, ye vo…..the guys or the girl’s mother was introducing the other to them. (As if they would remember all the faces.) Then the pheras happened after 12. Everyone was dead by then. We were all awake for so long. It took around 2 hours for the marriage.

I was watching all that with half eyes closed. We left the next morning. So couldn’t witness the customs that happen after marriage. The bride and the groom play some games, like searching for finger ring in a pan filled with milk. But, alas! I missed all that. But am happy that I made some good friends.

So, this was my trip to Baroda. Total fun.

Posted by Nats :: Wednesday, December 28, 2005 :: 3 comments